Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Nuts and Butts

That is the story of my days around here now. And will be for quite a while, it's calving season.

First the Nuts - Somebody's nuts stink. [My honey says I must edit this right away to note that HIS nuts and Squeaks nuts do NOT stink! A calf's nuts stink] So I have been checking nuts on the (soon to be) steers. You see, two weeks ago we banded everything that we aren't going to keep as bulls. Banded is just like it sounds, we have a tool that lets us put a large rubber (think surgical strength) piece and wrap it around the nuts and click it into a clip, and thus you have a TIGHT band that will slowly and with little risk of infection, cut the nuts off a bull. Really a great little tool! We haven't had ANY issues since we started using this bander. Because we like to cut our spring calves later, so that we can see who is really going to mature and grow (cause the good growers might get to keep their nuts).

Then the Butts- All day, every day, SEVERAL times a day (AND NIGHT) I check butts. This time I am checking all of my girls (cows and heifers, but these ones are new, and will be babied BIG TIME). As of yesterday, we have 8 heifers and 1 cow in the barn, at least a dozen more outside the barn, and several across the road on pasture; that are ready to calve.

[I hope y'all forgive my grammar, but that is really how I talk. So, my "bad" writing will probably continue]

Checking Hooeys* will continue until May when all should be calved. Thus, you will hear aLOT about nuts and butts in the weeks to come. We will be banding all the fall calves this weekend.

* Definition of a Hooey (pronounced WHO-EEEE) Long story but it is a synonym of the noun, HOOHA. This word is a general term for the external genetalia of a female bovine. Hooey or Hooha is a MUCH preferred term over ANY of the general cowboy terms that can be heard behind an AI chute or in the calving barn. When thinking of other cowboy terms, make sure that no children or women are present, because they are all derogatory curse words for anything female related. The terms Hooey and Hooha were required language at our previous ranch when we had at least 5 cowboys present when AI'ing 1500 head and a then 3 and 5 year old daughters present (and they decided to repeat exactly what terms the cowboys used, but I will say the girls used those "terms" in the same way they heard them to describe a cow's but).

There, so now when I blog, y'all will know the definition of Hooey. : ))


  1. LOL Nuts and butts....that's all us farm mom's see during this time of year! Hey that should be our next bulls name "NUTS AND BUTTS"

  2. OMG! I am laughing so hard! That's what my high school kids call it... Or a "volvo"! I told them it IS NOT an economical foreign car!!! HAHAHA

  3. OK, but what happened about the stinking nuts, did you find them or not? LOL

  4. LOL! "someone's nuts stink"
    Just another day in the life right?